FOTO: Gage Skidmore – Flickr
”Hvad siger det om en nations mænd”, spørger Bill Burr i sin podcast, hvor fodboldspillere bliver skåret midt over verbalt for at kaste sig rundt og filme.
Fra Bill Burrs podcast:
”What does it say about the men of your country that they pretend to be hurt rolling around, so some guy will take a little yellow fucking card out of his back pocket and run up to the person who allegedly did it, and just fucking…you know…pull it out like some sort of…I don’t know…FBI badge.
I hate other refs run up to the guy who does it and…there’s the yellow card…why doesn’t someone just slap it out of his fucking hand?
You know the thing I feel about soccer…I feel like the people in the stands are tougher than the people on the field. It’s really bizarre!
You know…I would go out on a pitch in a second in my little fucking Larry Bird short shorts and I’d run around there brush up against fellow men and watch them go oooooouuuuuuhhhhh!
Fucking fall on the grass and roll around hugging their knee that I didn’t hit.
I would do that in a second!
As far as standing in the crowd with those crooked teeth sons of bitches with some couple of pints and some fish and chips in them…fuck that…I’d never do it. Having them choke me to death with their fucking matching scarfs. I don’t need that!
Allright! I’m gonna tell you…the Premier League is phenomenal. World cup soccer – I love it! I love it except every time I start to get into it there’s that…just that shameless flopping around.
Flopping around and they all look like they’re gonna cry, The Spaniards and Italians they actually get their eyes all welled up like fucking Meryl Streep. They’re trying to win an award!
That’s what I would do you know. If I was making films in England…that’s what I would do right there…I’d cast just a soccer player.
Those guys can cry on cue. All you got to do is run by them.”
Podcasten fortsætter ubønhørligt i en munter tone, og Burr hamrer løs på europæerne for deres selvforherligelse gennem fodbold, som amerikanerne ikke forstår, fordi de ikke har ”concentration span” til det. Burr forsvarer sig med, at den gennemsnitlige amerikaner evner at se en røvkedelig og 4 timer lang baseball kamp. Og at amerikanere vil have kontakt sport, da man internt er et ignorant og voldeligt folkefærd, der ikke magter at se mænd græde, blot fordi man bliver snittet på anklen.
Optakten var en lytter-mail, hvori ishockey og fodbold blev sammenlignet. Til det svarede Burr: ”De to ting kan fint sammenlignes, men der er dog den forskel, at ishockey spilles af mænd!”
Bill Burrs podcast kan på det varmeste anbefales for dens eminente humoristiske indhold, men komikeren er også stærk i det historiske indenfor amerikansk sport. NHL, MLB, NBA og NFL samt college sport bliver ofte tygget igennem i både et aktuelt samt historisk perspektiv.
Dog skal der advares mod stærkt ”explicit language”.
Bill Burr er nemlig fra Boston!
Sektionen kan lyttes på nedenfor efter ca. 37:10 min.
https://billburr.com/thursday-afternoon-monday-morning-podcast-4-16-20/
